- Let's start. Your name please?
- Kaleb, sir.
- Kaleb. Right. Where did you come from, Mister Kaleb?
- I came from there,sir.
- From there. Well, how do you define yourself, Mister Kaleb?
- I am just ordinary people, sir.
- OK, and what was your main subject of work in life?
- People, basically, sir.
- Might we call you Kaleb?
- Sure, that's my name sir.
- Tell us Kaleb: what was the most spectacular thing you have found in your life?
- People, I guess, sir.
- And what about the awfullest?
- People, definitely, sir.
- In your opinion, Kaleb, what is the best political system in the world?
- The one which emanates from the people for the people, forgot the name, sir.
- I think you mean Democracy, Kaleb.
- I only remembered it was something related to people, sir
- Would you mind if we ask again, Kaleb: where exactly did you come from?
- I came from there and i am going to the Village,sir.
- To the Village? Which Village are you heading to, Kaleb?
- Village People, sir.
- Ok, you got us, Kaleb. Good one. Might we proceed? We were about to ask you about your favorite music band, but never mind. Let's skip this one.
- OK sir. I see dead people, sir.
- Stop it. Might we proceed?
- Sorry. I think I need a break, sir.
- Why do you need a pause for, Kaleb?
- 'Cause I gotta pee and poo,sir.
- Excuse me?
- Pee and poo. Saying it fast it's going to sound like "People" sir. Sort of got you again sir.
- ...
- Why are you doing this, Mister Kaleb?
- I don't know sir. I'm felling weird too, sir.
- You are obviously out, Kaleb. Is there anything you like to add before we finish?
- You and your people sir, you are all good people, sir. But terribly boring, sir.
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The reverend, at Kaleb's funeral (which, unfortunately, no one cared to attend), thus began:
"Kaleb, well... Kaleb was a genuine people-person..." he hesitated, and smiled as he looked at all the empty chairs. The wind blew mildly downhill, but there was no cold or heat in it, and there was no sound whatsoever. Of all the days he had spent strolling around the vast cemetery, he had never had the chance to comtemplate such absolute silence. And, despite the strange beauty he saw in the whole scene, he could not help but feel deeply sorry for the dead man lying peacefully right in front of him. He looked down, and beneath him he saw, peeping from his long dark robe, his shoes, laced, shining pretty and clean. He dedicated an unusual amount of time in keeping them perfect, and felt pride in seeing them so admirably well-kept, a shoe that served fittingly to such a respectable ceremony to him, and to the defunct. For a moment, it did not matter to him at all that no one would see him conducting this funeral in such a respectable way, even though some five minutes had passed since he began his speech, and he had said oh so little. Therefore he looked up, and instantly decided to continue.
"Kaleb was a people-person", he reminded himself as the empty chairs stared at him in mild curiosity, "...too bad no one really noticed it."
The chairs all applauded, and cheered in a most unsuitable way for a burial. The wind blew a bit heavier as the reverend retired himself from the premises. Kaleb himself was responsible for the entombing.
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